Alright, folks, let’s talk about the absolute circus that the Department of Government Efficiency—aka DOGE—just uncovered. If you thought government waste was bad before, buckle up, because what’s coming out now makes the usual bureaucratic incompetence look like amateur hour.
So, here’s the deal: ever since Donald Trump took office and unleashed DOGE—yes, with the help of none other than Elon Musk—this agency has been tearing through the federal government like a tornado, exposing fraud, waste, and corruption on a mind-blowing scale. From USAID funneling money to jihadists and extreme social justice projects overseas, to Biden’s HUD somehow “misplacing” $1.9 billion, it’s been one bombshell after another. But what they just uncovered at the Small Business Administration? Oh, this one takes the cake.
The SBA, which was supposed to be helping struggling small businesses during COVID, apparently decided to also help out a bunch of, well… children. Like, actual kids. We’re talking 5,593 loans totaling $312 million—all granted to business owners who were 11 years old or younger.
In 2020-2021, SBA granted 5,593 loans for $312M to borrowers whose only listed owner was 11 years old or younger at the time of the loan. While it is possible to have business arrangements where this is legal, that is highly unlikely for these 5,593 loans, as they all also used… https://t.co/PHCd4l7qFs
— Department of Government Efficiency (@DOGE) March 9, 2025
Now, unless America suddenly turned into an economy run by entrepreneurial fifth graders, something doesn’t add up. And it gets even better: every single one of these loans was attached to a Social Security number that didn’t match the name on file. Translation? Massive fraud.
DOGE, of course, called this out immediately, teaming up with the SBA to track down exactly who pulled off this scheme. But let’s be real—this isn’t just some clerical error. This is systemic. This is your tax dollars being siphoned off into thin air. And it still doesn’t stop there.
Because guess what? Apparently, it wasn’t just the kids cashing in. Turns out the SBA also dished out another $333 million to people over the age of 115. That’s right—while most of us are just trying to make it through the workweek, the walking dead are apparently out here securing government loans.
In 2020-2021, @SBAgov issued 3,095 loans, including PPP (Paycheck Protection Program) and EIDL (Economic Injury Disaster Loan), for $333M to borrowers over 115 years old who were still marked as alive in the Social Security database.
In one case, a 157 years old individual… https://t.co/5NnCgin5Li
— Department of Government Efficiency (@DOGE) March 4, 2025
One particular standout? A 157-year-old recipient who got $36,000. I mean, at that age, what’s the business plan? Selling elixirs of eternal life? Running a ghost-hunting agency? This is beyond absurd.
Of course, while DOGE is out here exposing one disaster after another, the left is losing their minds. Why? Because every bit of fraud that gets exposed threatens the Democrat Party’s precious gravy train—one that’s been funding their pet projects, their activist buddies, and their bloated bureaucracy for years. They’re furious at Elon Musk’s involvement because, well, he’s not playing by their rules. He’s shining a massive spotlight on corruption they never wanted exposed.
So, yeah—while the left might be chanting “We want waste! We want waste!” at this point, DOGE is tearing through their scams like a bulldog with a bone.